Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The scream you heard was ME!

This is the little friend I saw in the shed yesterday (I didn't take this photo, I was busy hanging from the ceiling by my fingernails like a cartoon cat when I saw it, this is from the Florida Department of Agriculture website).  It's a Brown Recluse, a particularly nasty little spider that can do some bad damage to you if you're bitten.  Nevertheless, the pest control guy came over today and I had to let him in the shed, THE shed...the shed with MULTIPLE skulls on the shelves...the shed with a life size COFFIN in it...the shed with, oh, you get the picture.  I opened the door and just said, "Please don't judge me, just get rid of the spider."  He was unfazed, which is a good thing and set out multiple traps to see if I really did have brown recluse spiders (I DON'T GIVE A $%$#@ WHAT THE ($(^%& IT IS OR ISN'T, JUST KILLLLLLLLLLLL IT!:[consequently, my personal beliefs are that all life is sacred and to be respected...except for spiders]).

As I was working on the piano playing ghost, I was having phantom crawlies on my legs which weirded me out and every thing I picked up was inspected VERY closely.

My next door neighbor's son had/has a black widow in a little clear plastic box on his mantle.  He feeds it crickets.  I don't understand.


ShellHawk said...

I told Mr. ShellHawk that there was a spider in our bedroom that was going to EAT MY HEAD WHILE I WAS SLEEPING.
He had the nerve to tell me it wasn't.
I slept in the guest bedroom. Just in case.

The Captain said...

We get those fawkers in the house everyonce and a while. I have black widows in my gardening shed. I don't go in there, I just lean in the door a grab stuff out.

Funny or not funny story. My wife and I are driving to work, its like 6:45am. I see something out of the corner of my eye in my rear view mirror. So now I'm doing 65 mph and trying to see what that was in the mirror? Then I see it, a huge Brown Recluse running around in the back window of the car. I calmly tell my wife "hey so don't freak out, but I need you to turn around and watch the huge spider in the back window while I pull over." she didn't freak until the car stopped. We both jumped out because the spider had climbed down on to the back seat! I opened the down and proceeded to chase him around whacking at him while dancing like a guys with his feet on fire. He went under a folder that was laying on the seat, and "slamo!" I crushed his ass, flicked him on to the road, and proceeded to grind him in to the asphalt with my shoe!

They are so big when they run you can hear their foot steps! I hate them! Now I'm gonna be paranoid all night about spiders!

Anonymous said...

Oh heavens, that is a b-e-a-Utiful spider... but is nothing but trouble! Glad that you got the pro's out to get em' gone! ;)

Pumpkin Knight said...

We have them in mass up here. them and hobos. they look like really big brown spiders. I've seen hobos the size of a Reeses peanut butter cup. and they are uber toxic. where I live you have to buy beds that come off the floor or you will get bitten.
best of luck with the spider issue Mr. macabre.

FoolishCop said...

I'm pretty sure every spider I've ever seen in my vicinity looked like that.

And just last night while I was watching TV I had to scramble like Little Miss Muffet because a spider decide to come along and drop its thread so as to sit beside me. Of all the places in the room, THIS was the spot it thought best to drop down.

Yeah, I "girled" too.


Tristan Robin said...

my personal beliefs are that all life is sacred and to be respected...except for spiders

I could not agree more.
Actually, I add (shiver with creeps) silverfish to that.

suzanne said...

Hmmmm . . . interesting commentary. Makes me glad I live in a part of the world with mostly harmless spiders :)

Anonymous said...

Well you wouldn't like England my friend. We're chocka with arachnids over here. There's a species of some brown variety that patrols the apartment on a regular basis, April to October. No idea what he/she (gender...no idea. I respect it's privacy) is looking for. Trespassing houseflies perchance.

Happy hangin'!

Chris 'Frog Queen' Davis said...

Wow, I miss a day blogging and all the excitement happens!

Reading this post and all your comments makes my heart smile. I am glad I am not the only irrational spider person on the planet.

I am the Frog Queen and and I am TERRIFIED of spiders.

Thanks to all of you for giving me a safe place to admit that. :)

Mr. Macabre....I would nail the shed shut and build new props, you can never be too safe :D


Carrie Mae said...

eww, eww, eww. Those things are my biggest fear every morning when I put on my shoes (had a friend of a friend get bitten by one last year when he put his work boots on -- OUCH -- almost lost his foot!).

Evil little blighters.

Incidentally, I had a similar conversation with the plumber who is here today. He was kind enough the first time he came out to the house to ignore the decor, up until time to leave when he said, "so, just out of curiosity -- why do you have so many skulls?" to which I responded, "but I just put most of them away in the craft room! What do you mean 'so many'?"

cindy said...

another arachniphobe here...HATE them! i got bitten by one once while visiting family in mexico, and got really sick, so they terrify me too! when i see one, i always call for hubby, and he always asks, "is it bigger than your shoe?" i always tell him "YES!" we have some knarly hobo spiders too, so sometimes it IS!