Weird but Hilarious! Istanbul (Not Constantinople)

Found this through Shadow Manor/The Art Of Darkness (great blog by the way). I don't understand this video and the guy's anger issues but I like it!



Always did like the song Istanbul (Not Constantinople).  I also like the chicken dance song but I don't tell that to many people.

Vendor Review...Halloweencostumes.com

Occasionally I get approached to review products in which I am happy to do so.  Just so you know, I HAVE turned down several companies, even with the offer of free product because they were either 1. Totally irrelevant  2.  Poor quality  or 3. Shady at best.

There's a lot of Halloween costume companies on line, one quick search on Google will pull up a TON of different vendors.  I was given the opportunity by Halloweencostumes.com to do a review of their products.  I was given a (very) generous budget of $50.00 to get whatever that I wanted from their online store.  First of all, their website is huge; it took me several hours to browse their online catalog from men's, women's, children's, accessories, their exclusive line (I so want the Gene Simmons KISS costume to wear to the family reunion...did I mention I don't care for family reunions?)

I brought the green bean casserole grandma!  Come on Grandma,  Little Joe wants his hug! Grandma, why are you running?

 and decided that I was going to get 3 items:

A Country Diva (Dolly Parton style) wig

A Red 80 Gram Feather Boa

A Red Saloon Girl Costume, size Large (Pretty lady not included)

Now before rumors start flying (especially the ones that involve me being in the middle of them), these are for a new animatronic that I am working on.  After Halloween, well, mind your own beeswax about what I do with the wig and boa.  Actually I'm working on a skeletal can-can girl and was racking my brain to think of how to costume her...Enter Halloweencostumes.com just in time!

No, I wouldn't believe me about the animatronic either but that's not the point. 

First of all, pricing...I was VERY surprised at their low prices.  I personally have not shopped for costumes except sometimes for others for quite a while and then only locally.  They have costumes for all price ranges, most being LESS than what I spend going through the 10 items or less at the grocery store!  No kidding! Most adult costumes range within the 40 to 60 US dollar range with accessories mostly considerably less.

Second of all, quality...What's the use of spending money if you spend it on poor quality merchandise that doesn't look good?  The pieces that I got are of exceptional quality for the price.  The wig (although unable to fit my fat head) has a full skull cap and the hair is securely stitched in place; I have not found a loose hair as yet. The wig is full and does indeed resemble the style pictured, although will need a bit of styling and back teasing which is expected.  The boa was also good quality.  The feathers, although a bit pressed from the ride to Alabama, fluffed up nicely, only a minimal amount of down feathers came loose.  I was especially impressed with the dress.  The stitches are tight, there are no loose, fraying edges that I have found, the faux lacing on the bodice is stitched, not printed or glued.  The colors are vibrant and there is a generous amount of fullness to the ruffles and the skirt.  I'm impressed, I couldn't make it for what they are pricing it for in the least.

Third of all, shipping...Ever get stuck with shipping?  You find this great deal and get to the checkout to find that shipping is high as a Halloween cat's back.  They offer 4.99 flat rate shipping to US addresses for all orders up to 30 pounds.  I can deal with that.   Honestly, I know of several instances where I'm primed and ready to buy something and the shipping causes me to hit the 'close tab' key.  4.99 is reasonable, I can deal.

Some other cool costumes I want...

This would be so freaking awesome to scare kids with!

This would be so freaking awesome to scare, well, everybody with!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!  MAKE IT GO BYE BYE!!!

MonsterPieces, a Toxictoons/Eric Pigors Masterpiece

If you don't have an iPhone, this is a good excuse to buy one...right now.  I have downloaded MonsterPieces from iTunes and have been having a ball creating horrible, disgusting, vile and putrid creations where I should have been working or looking at the road while I'm driving.   You can save the image and use it as an avatar or as your profile picture on a dating site (note, iPhone 4 users can't save images as yet but they're working on it furiously to get it fixed!  But you can still have fun)!  Below is a demonstration:



Forgo one overpriced sissy cup of coffee and buy this app so you can make your own monsters!  Great animation, great grossness, great artwork, just go and buy this app, you'll be glad you did!  Available at the iTunes App Store

BUY THIS APP OR I'LL MARRY YOUR DAUGHTER!!!

A Question for you crafty people out there...

A friend of mine wants to make me a counted cross stitch sampler, saying Home Is Where The Haunt Is.  Might anyone know of a place where custom patterns may be created that I may give to her?

Thanks y'all!

Mr. Macabre Rants, and rants and rants...

I love to read people's rants, it's just a Mr. Macabre thing.  I can imagine that they're furiously typing, face getting redder and redder, teeth clenching at the injustice that was done that so deserves a rant, I loves it!

My turn.

I woke up the other morning to find 281 undeliverable emails in my inbox and the next day, around 80 more.  I was another victim of a spambot.  Then last night, I get an irate email from someone demanding that I stop sending them '$#!+' and they're going to report me to the national fraud database (wtf?  Is there such a thing?).  I wrote back saying that my email's been hijacked and there was nothing I could do about it and go after the jack@$$es that have the link that you shouldn't click on, not me!

So if you get a note saying that so much has changed since we last talked, it hasn't, I'm still graying, farsighted and conniving. I don't give a rip if your buddy told you about a virus-engorged website that made him 8 billion dollars in his spare time in two weeks and out of the goodness of your heart you're sharing it with me, and a million other spam folders.  And while I'm at it...

1.  I don't need Viagra, Cialis or MaxGentlemen Enlargement pills.  I have two legs, that's enough. I'm just say'n.
2.  I don't need X@n@x, Pr0z@c, or Perc0cet.  You're an idiot if you think that I would put something in my mouth when you spell it like that.
3.  If I get a message from Facebook from Sarah telling me about the site she found that lets her post her nude pictures...she obviously doesn't know me...at all.
4.  How many plane crashes do the wealthy in Africa have?!  I mean, how many rich African widows are out there wanting me to help them get 8.5 million dollars invested in American banks and they want to give me 30% for my trouble?!  And for heaven's sake if you're rich in Africa, take the bus, take the train, take a car y'all, quit flying, better idea, stay at home!
5.  I don't need a Canadian pharmacy, I have a Kmart pharmacy that's a lot closer.
6.  Som eMoreTop -ra tedPillEsse nt ia lsPutInTh eSele cti on‏...see #2, then see a grammar teacher. 
7.
Dear Friend,
 
This message may Surprise you (no, not really, but it's surprising that you capitalized the S though). Please accept my apology if it does embarrass you (no, not at all.  If you climb on my desk and pee into my trash can, THAT will embarrass me). However, it’s my urgent need for a foreign partner that made me to contact you (I'm as foreign as they come, just ask Mrs. Macabre, oh wait, that was freaky.  My bad.). I am a bank manager (I'm sure you are, typing away on some outdated laptop in some skuzzy apartment with an open can of Beanie Weinies beside it no doubt) . I have an opportunity to transfer US$15 Million Dollars (Fifteen Millon United States Dollars) I'm Inviting you for a business deal where this money can be share between us, I intend to offer to you 40% of the total sum on a provision of a foreign account where this fund can be remitted immediately (Well damn, this must be my lucky day!  I love to be shared this money between us! You real nice!).
 
Meanwhile, arrangement to facilitate the easy transfer of this fund without problem has already been put in place by my humble self, if you are interested kindly reply to indicate your interest, then i shall intimate you with the method of application and how you can apply to the bank for the release and transfer of the fund into your nominated bank account (You will WHAT?!  YOU WILL INTIMATE ME WITH THE METHOD OF APPLICATION!?  You nasty boy, of course I'm interested!  Hmmm, my interests... mayonnaise, rubber thongs, riding crops, playing nude Vaseline Twister...) . In fact , the bank law stipulates that if such fund remains unclaimed over a given period of time, precisely 9 years ,the bank shall automatically transfer the fund into the bank treasury account as unclaimed or lost fund (wait, I'm still talking about the intimate method of application of mayonnaise here...I don't care about no bank now, I've got my jar of Blue Plate ready to go!) .Hence no one is putting claims to such funds , I want to also inform you that once you apply to this funds , no other person owns the right or eligibility to this account any more therefore the bank sees you as the true next of kin by making you the genuine owner of this account legally , even if the law has to prevail you are genuine and ascertain with all proofs of eligibility that I shall intimate you with later on, as we proceed in this transaction (bla bla bla, will you get off the bank crap and call me your nasty little b!+c#, you got me all hot and bothered now!) .
 
This account has been dormant since 2002 that i have been monitoring it (Well I ain't dormant right now, I'm still waiting to be intimated!  With mayonnaise!) .I do advice you to keep this as a top secret (Sure will, just you, me and whoever else reads this, that's all). I wait for your urgent reply once you are interested to be my partner kindly send the below information’s (Partner?!  Hey, I'm not looking for any kind of commitment, you know, you're nice and all but I've just got out of a long term relationship and work is really busy right now and you know, it's not you, it's me, I'm just needing some me time right now and I just need a little room to breathe and YOU'RE SUFFOCATING ME DAMMIT!)
 
1. YOUR FULL NAME……Puddin' Tame, ask me again and I'll tell you the same…………
 
2. OCCUPATION……I lay and nurture the seeds of coveting and vanity, I convince you that what you have isn't good enough, that what you have although still good, is shameful and old, otherwise known as an interior designer………
 
3. MARITAL STATUS…She meant nothing to me, I swear! *sigh* just divorced………
 
4. YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER……If I told you, it wouldn't be private now would it?…………
 
5. AGE…4 days older than dirt……
 
Regards,
 
Mr Franklin Adam




End of rants.

Teeth, Vampire Teeth That Is....

Just a fun little video that I ran across done to Lady GaGa's 'Teeth'.



Funny stuff! 

Jean Claude Puts His Sombrero On

I noticed that we had a fairly large turnout of Hispanic guests to the Unresting Place last year so I'm putting a little something in there for them.  Jean Claude said he wanted to dress like a dia de los muertos skeleton and sit in the yard this year.  A party supply store went out of business this year so I dove in and melted a credit card in that place (everything was half off).  Jean Claude was fairly disappointed that I couldn't find a mariachi outfit but he's happy with the sombrero.

Why I like 2.0's

Today was the first day I made any real progress in prop building.  I wasn't really happy with the seance table last year, the movements were too subtle, only a couple of people noticed it tilting.

They won't overlook it THIS year...





For some weird reason I love rebuilding a prop.  I love rethinking it and coming up with different ways of accomplishing the same motion or effect.  This is Seance Table 2.0.

NOT sure that I want...

Do we REALLY need this?

Why?

Nope, that didn't help any.  Having a severed kids hand on my iPhone just doesn't help in the least.

Again, why?

Nope, still hasn't convinced me yet.
(shakes head and mutters something about what is the world coming to)

Via Geekology, who should be on your blog list if nothing else for the hilarious commentary.

If you would like to buy your own severed hand, click Here (the site is actually very interesting, a Japanese company that sells a HUGE selection of cell phone stuff and stuff that I can't even tell what it is but for some strange reason, want it!)...

Ooooooookkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyyy, it's a free country, she can eat the frog if she wants.

I.....am......so......very......very.......frightened.

Ok, do want, I'm a bit of a Harry Potter geek.  I didn't personally see Harry use them in the movies but I might have gone to the bathroom around that time.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  MOMMY MAKE IT STOP!
This is, although questionably, not a porn toy but some animated character that was strong and he is doing his situps.  It's a jump drive that you can violate your computer with use to store porn information.  It's also disturbing me in ways I have never known before and hope never to again.

NOT helping any!

Ok, I'm needing some brain bleach right about now.  I'm going to bed after I take a bath in boiling Purelle.

Long Forgotten, a blog that should be on your reading list...

When I stumbled across Long Forgotten, I thought it was curious that the author: 

By day a Doctor of Biblical Studies and specialist in The Book of Enoch; by night a tireless investigator of Disney's Haunted Mansion.

Go figure.  Hey, I'm not one to throw stones, I collect skulls and worship Martha Stewart. 


Please don't judge me.


Anyhow, he has made the most definitive blog on Disney's Haunted Mansion since Chef Mayhem's Doombuggies.com (which, if you're not familiar with Doombuggies, stop what you're doing, open another window and go to the link).  What you'll find from Long Forgotten is a plethora of goodies including a rich history, scholarly speculation and  oh-so many wonderful pictures of this beloved place.  


Now, for your viewing pleasure, courtesy of Martins Videos, the absolute BEST and most beautiful HD video of the entire Haunted Mansion ride that has been created so far.  Even better than anything that Disney has produced.  Fair warning, it's about an hour long, but well worth it.  No backstage spoilers but everything as a guest would see if they boarded the ride.


Enjoy!



The Haunted Mansion WDW 2009 HD from Martins Videos on Vimeo.

From the Garden of the Unusual and Temporarily Ruining Your Life

Sorry that I've been rather scarce lately, I have been undergoing one of worst things that a you can go through, something that can and will test your resolve, sanity, marriage and temper...

A kitchen remodel.

But first, a bit of garden fun....
I have a bit of a soft spot for unusual plants...

Red Passion Flower (although a bit out of focus).  This was taken with my iPhone about 8 feet up. This one is the first to bloom, I have 3 other varieties that are all intertwined together.  These are truly more drag queens of the plant world, big, showy, beautiful and over the top!

Corsican Mint...I don't know if it's edible or not but you can pet it and your hand will have a wonderful minty smell.

Anise hyssop, otherwise known as licorice.  Yes, I didn't know it looked so bright, green and cheerful either! Where they got the color black associated with it I'll never know.  It's wonderful in tea, makes you feel a little closer to Hallowe'en.

Patchouli, it has a deeply mysterious, sensual smell that is supposed to make you frisky.  It's a pretty bushy plant that is fun to smell, although I can't attest personally to the frisky part.

Coconut geranium...my favorite.  The leaves don't really smell all that much like coconut but they do remind you of some unusual tropical flower.  Not really all that showy, this plant is a trailer and the leaves are HEAVILY scented and will linger long on your skin if you rub one on you.  I love this plant!  Hint: buy the trailing variety and not the upright one, it smells WAY better and stronger.  

The Flying Dragon citrus or the I will %$#@ you up bush as I call it.  This weird plant is covered with sharp spines on its twisted branches.  It makes an orange fruit (unripe in the picture) that I have heard is inedible and I have heard it is just so sour you can't stand it but not poisonous.   It's really hardy and a fun plant, something that Morticia Addams would prize.  Just don't get near it, the plant WILL win!

I'll spare you the gory details but we went from this....

To this...

Then this...

To this...

I watched my absolute favorite movie today...Julie & Julia.  I caught myself smiling several times throughout the movie and afterwards grabbed Mrs. Macabre's Ipad and ordered Mastering the Art of French Cooking by Julia Child.  Yes, I know, I got caught up in the movie (love me some Meryl Streep and Amy Adams!) but even though I ordered the book, don't expect me to make aspic (look it up, it's like meat Jello! BLARG!!!)! 

Bored you enough? Want some Hallowe'eny stuff?  Stick around, I'm going back into the shed tomorrow and start working (had the Hallowe'en dream again last night, I think it's a warning to get my rear in gear).  This kitchen remodel has consumed my life lately, and the horrible stifling heat and humidity we've had.

See y'all real soon!

10 Most Unusual Cemeteries

Don't know if they're all THE most unusual but I'd LOVE to see at least some of these.  Can anyone verify is Stull Cemetery is indeed a portal to Hell?  I thought my bathroom was by the smell but that was before I took a hammer and chisel and Clorox napalm bomb and cleaned the toilet.

Or was that too much information?

Via TopTenz.net

The Dream

I had that stupid dream again.  Not the one where I suddenly find myself naked in the middle of Kmart either (not joking, it's a reoccurring dream of mine), but the one where it's Hallowe'en and I have forgotten to put everything out.  Except this time it has a twist, I put a couple of pitiful props on the front porch and think 'that will do' and then just leave.  These dreams are even more disturbing than the I-can't-find-my-classes-to-take-the-test-but-know-that-I've-already-graduated-years-ago-so-why-am-I-stressing dream!

I do like flying dreams though, although mine are more of a jump and float kind of flying.  I guess when you sleep in a room with over 50 skulls (my skull collection), one should expect some rather peculiar dreams from time to time.

Still haven't figured out the naked in Kmart thing though.

The Ghosts of Hallowe'en Parties Past...

Mr. Macabre and dear friend at a kickin' Hallowe'en party years ago.  There is/was this really goth vampire guy in New Orleans named Chaz that gave ghost and vampire tours and I loosely modeled my outfit from him.  The nails were super-glued on...I had to soak my hands in acetone for about an hour to get them off.

Memo to self...super glue works too well on fake nails.

This is Chaz.  If you go to New Orleans, do NOT take any other ghost or vampire tour but his...there is no other.  The guy is unbelievable!

Rolling Right Along...

Routed the cemetery arch yesterday from 1/4 inch luan plywood (was going to use foam but was itching to play with my new Dremel tool!).  It's going to be lit from behind but should it be ghostly green/blue or red/yellow?

More to come...

A Fiend In Need Is A Fiend Indeed

Alright, I know that was just a play on words but it seems appropriate in reference to that mac daddy of macabre, Eric "Unkle" Pigors of Toxictoons.com.  Eric had a heart attack Memorial Day weekend (which sucks unto itself since that's like getting sick on a Saturday when you were a kid), a BIG heart attack.  I encourage you to read about his ordeal HERE, it's not only fascinating but also terrifying and not in the good way (he had to be CONSCIOUS during the procedure!!!  That means memories!!!  That would mean for me, lots and lots of time on the psychiatrist's sofa and lots and lots of Xanax!!!).    


But I digress.

Bottom line...please think about buying some of his cool products to help him out.  Hospitals and doctors are not cheap here in America (%$#@& expensive is more like it, I have some orthotic inserts for my shoes that billed my insurance company 800.00 NOT including the office visit and 2 cortisone shots in my heel!  Health care is doggone high!!!). I can attest that Eric and his very lovely wife Denise are wonderful people and would appreciate you finding that special something on their site that makes your life complete.  They love Hallowe'en, so how can they be anything but nice?

So help a fellow fiend out and traipse on over to Toxictoons and look around.  I bought one of his Ouija boards this morning to go in the yard haunt and if it's half the quality of the shirts, prints and other cool stuff I collect of his, it's going to be fantastic.

Retiring and rebirth

Rest in pieces, dear Aggie...

Today I retired one of my props...Agatha, my cauldron-stirring witch.  All in all I was very happy with her but the character of the Unresting Place has been and is changing to a more lighthearted tone (as if it wasn't already).  I guess this is what I mean by haunting who you are, haunt what you are comfortable with and what feels 'right' to you.  Agatha was a severe character, like the skeletal corpse bride (who is getting retired this year also), she was less and less congruent with the rest of the graveyard.  So with strange feelings and a heavy heart, my fingers cruelly tore latex, modeling clay and hair from the skull base; all being left was a Bucky and a hinged jaw with motor.
But from the ashes, a phoenix awakens.  I am pleased to introduce the next incarnation of Aggie's head, The Hatbox Ghost...

Dental work is definitely on the way, including a gold front tooth.

Model Magic has improved their formula and is MUCH easier to work with.  This guy will be standing alone, headless while holding a hatbox.  His head is going to slowly rise out of the hatbox while jaw moves in laughter and then goes back down again.
At least that's the plan. I have an ever-so-slight idea of how to do it but nothing in stone.  I might just have his head float randomly around his body, I dunno.  I'm going to try and experiment some with him, using black lights and ultraviolet sensitive or phosphorescent materials to give him an unearthly glow.  I'm rather excited about him, he is going to feel right at home.  But don't feel bad for Aggie, she requested that her body be left to Ignatia so she can finally sit after standing for 8 years over a hot cauldron.

First Ghoul of the Season

Meet Ignatia Scritch, the medium.  She and her enchanted seance table will be raising the dead on Hallowe'en night here at the Final Unresting Place Cemetery.
Bucky skull with Model Magic and moving jaw so she can make her incantations known....


Crap!  That eye is looking straight at me!

Zombie fun and KILL IT WITH FIRE!

So this has happened to someone else besides me...


Really stupid zombie jokes...



Some more really stupid zombie jokes (some are a bit off-color)....


KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!


*shiver* that last one was hard-down scary.

Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out...

The Visa bill came yesterday, I guess they didn't process my "paperless statement" request in time.  I'm going as the Hessian Mercenary this Hallowe'en because when Mrs. Macabre saw the 650.00 for the face creams, I got my head bit off!


Did you know that you could feed 4 third world countries for 7 years with the money that I wasted on that cream?  It's true!  I was told this by Mrs. Macabre....repeatedly.  Over and over.  And over.