Week 3 of Easter Wrongness!

Here we goooooooooo!

Easter Wrongness a little late

"SOMEONE" yesterday told me that they had to do some "REAL" work on the computer. My little "blogging thing" would have to wait.

Hmmmm, I would just hate it if my red sweatshirt "accidentally" got mixed in with the whites on the next load of laundry.

Several bits of Easter wrongness coming up a little later....

This is Inappropriate and Gross

Ms. M sent this to me. She needs help. I laughed at it. I need help too.


The guy looks WAY too happy. Good corpse job on the skeleton though.

Let's Play Jurassic Park!!!!

Yay! With the new Triops Pet Kit, you too can make your own personal Jurassic Park! I'm going to document my Dr. Frankmacabre journey in creating life.

Day 1, see the package and buy it at Hobby Lobby.

What I would taste like to a cannibal

Created by Recipe Star

I don't really even like fish.

Haunted Book Review Thursday

Thursday was always my favorite day in school because it was library day. Contrary to most of all my friend's deeply held beliefs, I DO and CAN read (albeit, we won't go into content). Some of the books that I have on haunting, Hallowe'en and scary decorating are great, and some would have been better saved for, oh, let's say a 780 calorie venti Vanilla Bean Frappuccino at Starbucks. Dang, I could really use one of those right now.

I'm going to go through my haunted library each week and give a review of a book as it pertains to all things Halloween. Maybe you will agree with me, maybe you will be wrong and just need to quit being difficult and see things my way!

Just kidding.

I'm going to rate them the following way:
You're going to need a cigarette after reading it! (No question, sell the kids if you have to but buy it!)
You can get some good ideas and use out of it with a little effort. (If you have the dough laying around, buy it.)
You can put it on the coffee table for decoration. (Your discretion, there might be something in there that you can use.)
You can brag how many books on Hallowe'en you have (Stays on the shelf after one flip through after you get it)
You should have bought a Starbuck's coffee instead. (Don't bother with it)

I really hate to start out with this book because I just got it a couple of days ago but it begs to be hailed as one of the best.




This book can be purchased at Howtohauntyourhouse.com.

My Humble Review...
Very few books available on Hallowe'en and do-it-yourself haunting have new and innovative ideas and techniques.
This book is quite different.
Written by a husband and wife team, Shawn and Lynne Mitchell, the
Mitchell Cemetery is all about ambiance and atmosphere, and they show you how they did it. Fresh new ideas and techniques are laid out simply and easily, using everyday, easy to obtain items. It leaves me thinking sometimes as I read it "dang, why didn't I think of that?". The book is printed in full color throughout, with loads of pictures and diagrams and many, many beautiful photographs. They explain each effect and the construction in layman's terms including the (in)famous Pepper's Ghost effect and variations thereof.

The book is a tad on the expensive side in comparison to other books on the market, but actually worth more in information than 90% of the other books in my library.

The rating for this book: You're going to need a cigarette after reading it!

I got an award!!!!!!

Eve Noir of the delightful blog Through Eve's Looking-Glass (oopsie, forgive me, got the name wrong the first time) gave me a Passionate Blogger award!

Omigosh, now I have to perform harder to please everyone! The pressure, the stress, I...I...I'm not going to be able to hold myself together! What if I fail, what if I bore! WHERE'S MY XANAX!!!!!!

Thanks Eve, from the bottom of my pitch black heart!

Popeye Vs Anime

I can't deal with manga, anime, whatever it's called. It gives me a headache watching it and I'm always totally lost which is why I LOVE this...


I'm too old to say this but I will anyhow...Popeye rules!

Double Dose of Easter Wrongness!

I am vengeance.

I am the night.

I witnessed my parents killed in cold blood right before my eyes. Not to mention my repressed homosexuality manifesting itself by my "ward" Dick Grayson and his costume being a Speedo, gloves and cape.

Happy Easter.

And I got decapitated somehow and my head splits open and you can put jellybeans inside.



This one comes with a one way bullet train ticket to hell. I would think that eating a revered and sacred icon of the Christian faith is wrong, and I'm not alone in this by THIS article.

But let's think about this shall we, the cross was a Roman deterrent to crime, and a torture device as well. You usually died by asphyxiation or dehydration. Slowly. Very very slowly and painfully. And someone wants to make that into something you put into a child's easter basket?!

And it's nasty Palmer chocolate too. Yuk! If I'm going to hell for eating some chocolate, at least make it Hershey's!

Samara

I go on an early morning walk with Sausage Von Trapp just about every morning. We meet at 6:15 and walk for about 1/2 mile, turn around and come back, our morning conversation usually reserved for some sort of gossiping and lots of laughter.

One morning we walk along and to our right, we see a young girl, standing in the woods, it is about 6:25, about 1/2 way to our turn-around point. This young woman is thin, dressed in a long black dress with white collar and cuffs, reminiscent of Wednesday Addams. Her hair is long and straight, parted in the center. We can't see her face (I do not remember a face) but what we do see is her waving to us, slowly. Very slowly, like a car's wiper, but slow. She is standing at the mouth of the woods, just standing and slowly waving, not beckoning. We slowed a bit from our walk and casually waved hello and walked a couple of steps forward before looking back.

She was gone.

The historic house that is to the right (not shown) supposedly has a ghost. I went to a party there one time and read the history and supposedly there was a woman murdered there.

That was last year and each and every time we pass by, both of us look back to see if Samara (the name we gave her since she had long black hair) is back waving to us. I would think it very unlikely someone would have come up with this as a joke and I have a tendency to try and doubt what I have seen that may be unexplainable but Sausage was there and witnessed the same thing.

Weird.

The Hallowe'en Tree Night Shots

No, I just couldn't wait. Looking at it conjures up the magic of Hallowe'en, candles flickering within orange pumpkin grins.

Magic...

Ray Bradbury would be so proud of me

I never really got into Ray Bradbury's writing but I dig the idea for the Halloween Tree.

This is a bottle tree I bought today (welded together of steel rebar, people put bottles [usually blue colored] on the 'branches' supposedly to trap evil spirits) and thought it would do just fine and dandy for a year round jack o' lantern tree. I drilled small holes in the bottoms of the ceramic pumpkins to let the rain water out and will put tea lights in them to shine at night.

This WILL be the year for my Hallowe'en garden! Has anyone else done one? Have suggestions or pictures to share?

Easter Wrongness

A few years ago, I made an Easter basket for Ms. M. It was called the Easter Basket of Wrongness; I had filled it with all that I could find that the retailers had put out that was just totally wrong. Each week until Easter, I will find something truly wrong and share it with you.



Trust me, I won't have to look hard for this stuff. And I wasn't spitting on the chicken, I was trying to blow it over. I actually like the chicken. A lot. I have a thing for chickens. And cows but that's between me and my psychiatrist.

You Want Hallowe'en? I'll Give You Hallowe'en!

Found this little dark lady in my banana tree...I'm admittedly arachnophobic but I can appreciate her elegance, she is beautifully black and glass-like, her hourglass a brilliant orange-red. She's quite shy, I had to wait until she decided to come back out of her hiding spot after I startled her. A scary but lovely spider.






I'm going to let her be and remember to stay away from the banana tree.

Uh, Not Sure If This Would Be Fun

This is the link to Dickensworld in England. Someone thought that it would be a fun idea to recreate Victorian England with the dilapidation, darkness and dankness of the era. I like Victorian stuff, and I LOVE Steampunk stuff but...ah...I might have reservations about this place.

"Get the thrills and excitement of living in the times of Dickens! Fun for the whole family! Children scamper about merrily trying their hand at pick pocketing or maybe they would want to try a few hours at the cannery or the spooky coal mine! Let Mom try out the world's oldest profession whilst Dad stops by the the authentic pub for an authentic absinthe stupor! Kept at a constant 27 degrees, the dark and smokey Dickensworld will astound and delight the whole family and bring a new appreciation to child labor laws and the Environmental Protection Agency."

Hmmmm, think I'll pass in favor of sunny Orlando's Harry Potter's World when it gets built. I'm not a rabid Harry Potter fan but it does look like it would be a lot of fun...about 4 years after it opens when the crowds die down a bit so you can actually move around in the place!

Illuminated Crystal Ball Stand, Part 1

Youtube said that the original version was too long so I broke it up. This is my first attempt at a how-to video. This also is my Mr. Macabre voice because I'm too nice of a guy to subject you to my Southern twang. Besides, I can get into character more being Mr. Macabre.

And I really didn't know what I was doing, I was making up everything as I went along.

Illuminated Crystal Ball Stand, Part 2

Freakies

This was and will always be my absolute favorite cereal! Via Cool-Mo-Dee and his tribute to discontinued cereals.

FREAKIES CEREAL COMMERCIALS 1970'S
Uploaded by super8monsters

I had an orange Grumble magnet for about 20 years on my folk's fridge that I got out of a Freakies box.

Weight Watchers Update...

And the verdict is...214.4...gained a bit. Hey, it's not all my fault, blame some of it on Starbucks. I had found a frappuccino drink there that, like all Starbucks products, has a significant amount of crack cocaine mixed in to addict you. I am convinced of this, why do people HAVE to have a Starbucks every day? Why would someone call the Suze Ormond show on her 'Can I Afford It?' segment and ask if she could afford a Starbucks drink every day (Suze denied her btw)? Come to find out my refreshing, icy vanilla bean frappuccino slushie has 780 CALORIES! Do they just try and see if not only they can make their drinks addictive but at the same time make them as fattening as they can?!

Sigh, I guess a broccoli slushy wouldn't taste so good though.

A Little Lenghthy But A VERY Good Hallowe'en Read

I found this a few years ago, I don't remember if it was by purpose or by accident but it came at a time when I was personally conflicted with my faith and the celebration of Hallowe'en. I was indoctrinated in Chick tracts (look it up if you want, they're basically 'if you don't believe the way I do because I am a comic book artist [only fair artist] and if you don't you're going to Hell' sort of things), fear tactics from my church and loads of well meaning but WRONG (and a lot of downright blatant LIES) information on everything from Sam Hain who is the great god of death that the Celts sacrificed babies to, to jack o' lanterns were representative of damned souls, to witches are devil worshippers.

This straightened all that out and I agree with Ms.Rowan Moonstone, a Wiccan, from the the article, "I have no problems to Christians being theologically opposed to Samhain. What I absolutely refuse to tolerate is sloppy and improper scholarship!" I wholeheartedly agree.

Mean Kitty

If you have a mischievous kitty, you will relate. This was just something I found on Youtube that was funny because of the Witch Doctor.

I'm going to video my kitties playing Stoner Kitties when they toke up on catnip. They absolutely love it. Then they want brownies.

DIY How To-A Glowing Crystal Ball

Everyone needs a crystal ball but one that is halfway decent size costs a fortune! I wanted a Madame Leota sized ball but without a head in it, something that was beautiful. Maybe I should have consulted one back in September before I lost my retirement...couldn't have been any worse advice than what I got from my broker! I saw this idea a few years back but I don't remember whom to give credit so I salute the unknown haunter who I got this idea from (however, adding the glow is my idea:{))

First of all, we need a glass ball and believe it or not, this is perhaps the easiest thing to find, especially right now...a glass gazing ball. We want one that is smooth and shiny, and this time, cheap is the best way to go. No mosaics, no fancy swirls, no colored glass, just plain and shiny. Look in Hobby Lobby, Michael's or my favorite, Big Lots for them. If you see a cool gazing ball stand that you like, go ahead and get one.

When you get the gazing ball home, carefully pull the rubber stopper from the bottom. You'll see that it's hollow inside, like a glass Christmas ball. Save the stopper, it keeps the insides clean when you're done. Put the ball in a bowl in a sink (to keep it steady and the opening pointing upward), and pour about a cup of household bleach into the ball. Fill the ball with water to the top of the opening (I use warm water, not hot) and leave it overnight. The bleach fairies will scrub the coating away and in the morning, you will have a crystal clear glass ball, no kidding. If you see some spots that didn't get cleaned off, dump the water out and repeat until no metallic coating is left on the inside. I should say that utmost caution should be used in this process, bleach is toxic, and broken glass is ouchie, do all this at your own risk and use common sense and if you don't have any, find someone who does and let them do this for you.
When the ball is cleaned out and clear, rinse it thoroughly and wash it out with some dishwashing detergent, rinse well and then lastly, pour some rubbing alcohol in and swish it around over and over. Pour out and let dry completely.

Now you have a crystal ball! Put the stopper back on the bottom to keep the insides clean and display on the stand that you bought.

Let's kick it up a notch...I wanted mine to glow in the dark and since I tried SEVERAL different methods on SEVERAL different balls, I will save you the time and trouble by giving you the best method I found.

Buy 3 cans of Krylon Glow in the Dark spray paint (any hobby store should have it). Wearing rubber gloves (to hold onto the ball and to keep your hand from getting glowy) spray INSIDE the globe LIGHTLY to keep drips from forming. Let dry about an hour. Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat ad nauseum to build up the color. Go slow, your efforts will be rewarded with a flawless looking glowing ball. When done, allow to dry for several days and then put the cap back on.

The glow on mine is incredible, very bright when you use a black light and it glows for hours later. Another idea is using glass frosting spray inside, apply just like the glow paint and when finished, install a small light bulb through the bottom
to look like there is a power going on inside...

Have fun kiddies!

My Axworthy Ghost Attempt--Sucess!

Short little video of my Axworthy Ghost System testing. It actually worked! This is my Mr. Macabre voice that I use on Hallowe'en to disturb the children.

Then Pussy Lumpkins had to try and kill the ghost...

Pussy Lumpkins doesn't care for ghosts, as you can tell.

ENEMAN TO THE RESCUE!

I can't believe that I have waited this long to share this with you. This is perhaps one of my all time most cherished gifts. Sausage Von Trapp brought this back for me when she and her hubby went to a medical convention some years back.

EneMan.

A stuffed toy in the shape of a super hero enema, or is it enema super hero?

EneMan.

A stuffed toy representative of a device used to facilitate a bowel movement.

EneMan.

A stuffed toy with a cape, legs, arms and a cute little face. And of course, an orange nozzel.

My question is: Does EneMan respond to grunts and then flies through the air up your $#@%& to save the day? And does he do this only once; I would hope he at least sterilizes himself before rescuing someone else after he finishes with me.

This is the reason that perscriptions are so expensive.

Weight Watchers Update

I forgot to post it last week...which was 216. And the verdict for this week...

213!

I have, however, had to cancel my membership to Weight Watchers; money is getting a little tight and I'm having to cut back on some stuff.

26 pounds so far. I don't think that I've been this weight since third grade!

Donald vs Witch Hazel

There's nothing better than old old OLD cartoons, especially Hallowe'en ones! I loooovvvvvvvveeeeee Donald Duck, basically hot tempered, mischievous and stubborn, my kind of duck!

Wouldn't want to piss off Witch Hazel though, she plays rough!

Snowwwwwwww!

To those north of the Mason/Dixon line, you will roll your eyes at us but snow is a rarity for us. We woke up to about an inch here and it's really pretty; we haven't had snow in about 8 or 9 years.
Of course, yesterday people were going into a freaking panic at the grocery store grabbing bread, milk and peanut butter. COM'ON PEOPLE, WE'RE IN ALABAMA!!! IT WILL BE 70 BY WEDNESDAY!!!

It's not sticking well though, our ground is too warm and we've had torrential rains for the past few days. Still, it's very pretty!