Something talented this way comes...

It started with this fellow...

Now it has spread to this...

And another is on the way.  For those that may not know her, please allow me to introduce to you Shell of Shellhawk's Nest.  If you don't follow her blog, then you should, you're missing a LOT.  First of all, she's a regular on Hauntcast (if you don't know what Hauntcast is, it's a podcast of nothing but Halloween tips, tricks and instruction on how to make a first rate haunt and profiles the brilliant evil geniuses that spend their lives for one night each year.  If you don't know what a podcast is, I can't help you).  Second, her blog is always entertaining, informative and fun, (although her new banner makes me envious!).  Third...she's an artist and that's what this is all about...these pumpkins are hers and now they're mine!  The top one is raku, which is a glazing technique that can give organic, metallic colors that are very beautiful and from what I understand, is a bit time consuming to execute.  The bottom is a wonderful traditional design like what I grew up with (he makes me nostalgic, that's why I had to have him) in glossy pumpkin orange.  I love them both, they put me in the mood.


Link to her Etsy site (what the $#@% is an Etsy anyhow?! And while we're at it, what the &*%@ is an EBay?! Electronic tsy?  Electronic Bay?!  Whaaaaaaat?!?!?!)

Be on the lookout for more designs and larger sizes coming up!

Cussed Out

I have never been cussed out before...until yesterday at a customer's house.  It was unexpected, and his high pitched voice grated on my nerves.

I was cussed out by an African Gray parrot.  The fellow asked me if I spoke Spanish and I said very little, and for me to please not be offended by what comes out of this bird's beak.  This bird is bilingual and can cuss in English and Spanish!   He also tried to imitate the phone ringing and made an uncanny imitation of his master's voice.

YOU %$#^ SONUVA &*%#@$%  

You would be VERY surprised about what I run across in people's homes from time to time!  This is just one of the funnier ones!

Now that's what I'm talkin' about when I say breakfast!

Now kiddies, this is what I call breakfast!  2 Krispy Kreme classic donuts and a couple of greasy strips of bacon!  All I needed was a little maple syrup to drag the bacon through and I would have been all set but this will do in a pinch. 
Mrs. Macabre and I went to Nashville for a freebie trip from her company, which was nice.  They always do things first class.  I'm in love with Tennessee, what a beautiful state!  Nashville was gorgeous, it kind of reminded me of New Orleans without the stale beer/prevalent barf smell everywhere.  This was my mood 3 minutes after I woke up this morning realizing that I had to come back home to Alabama...

This was obviously BEFORE I pulled out the Mary Kay and Paul Mitchell....

I made an ever-loving hog of myself Friday night when the Big Boss treated us all to a free dinner at a classy restaurant.  I had never had a 24 ounce steak before...mind you the plate was about 16 inches across...a charger size.

I like my steaks to moo.  Nevertheless, it was delicious and the best part was that I didn't have to pay for it!

Lastly, I'm wiped out.  It was 96 here today with high humidity and tomorrow is supposed to be 100, but I've got some how-to video editing that I'm going to post soon that will be done in the nice cool air conditioning and a couple of pumpkins that I got that I've got to gush over....they're gorgeous and the best part is, Shell of Shellhawk's Nest did them!

More to come!

A Quick Blogger Question...

Is anyone else out there not receiving email notifications on new posts or replies to posts or is is just me?  About a week ago I stopped getting email notifications and thought no one loved me anymore until I checked my dashboard and saw the love there...

Random Youtube Scariness...

This one is dang scary.  Why the %#$@& would you pet a cat with human hands after he viciously ate a crow in the first place?!


This is somewhat disturbing, the 1920's music, the 'happy' dancing clown, I don't know, it just does...



What...just...happened??? (warning, they don't use &%$#@, they use the real thing)



Demon possessed baby doll...



And lastly...

FangAGRA

I, of course, don't need this. I'm just posting this for those of you who might...I'm just sayin'...


FangAGRA

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Spoofs | Funny Animations

And Now For Something Creepily Different! And A Review!!!

If you haven't had the pleasure of meeting Unkle Pigors, then you've missed a treat!  Allow me to introduce you to Toxic Toons, your one stop shop for all things creepy and WAY over the top!  His artwork reminds me of Rat Fink with all the wonderful vileness and depravity that you can stand with a decidedly Halloween twist!  He seems like the kind of person that you make SURE comes to your parties.

Now for the review...

Unkle Pigor's Spookhouse DVD
Available HERE

I have to admit that besides secretly listening to Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson, this is another one of my guilty pleasures that I indulge in.  I'm not one to quote popular culture too much but THIS ROCKS, IZ DA BOMB AN ALL DAT, and pretty dang groovy too!  My two favorite sections have to be Children's Day at the Morgue and Lets Chop Soo-e!, an animated cartoon with all the the subtlety and restraint of a rabid cat on crack.  I can't stop watching it!  Lots of twisted and demented animations as well as a very interesting interview with Unkle Pigors (aka Eric Pigors).  I can vouch for the sheer insanity of this DVD.

Click HERE for a preview of Unkle Pigor's Spookhouse DVD, you'll be glad you did!

Crazy Cool Retractable Vampire Fangs!

Remember Gary Oldman when he's about to put the bite on Winona Ryder in Bram Stoker's Dracula?  His fangs slowly grow down leaving vampire aficionados like me drooling for a pair.

My dear dark friends...I joyfully present Vampfangs:



Ordered me 2 sets.  They were on sale too so hurry up!

A Little Bit of Everything

Some people do link dumps but this is a picture dump.  Just a bunch of pictures from my cell phone and around the house...

Pretty lily at my folk's house...

Blue Hydrangea in my garden

Wallpaper for my computer...

Yes, upside down tomatoes do work.

First one of the season to turn red.

Snuggie, the wonder Chiwienie! (Sleeps with me, tends to be a bedhog though)

Blue Angels over the house earlier last month...they nearly scraped the shingles off the roof!

Bought these at a discount clearance store.  WT@#&%* is going on here?! I'm trying to stay at 'multi-flavor colorings' to keep from looking down at the really horrific spectacle... I really don't know what terrifies me more, the scary @$$ clown vomiting the jelly beans or the Little Orphan Annie zombie kids eating the regurgitated confections!  Either way, I'm scarred on a very very deep level.
And the jelly beans were nasty, I managed to pick out and eat all the red ones and tossed all the rest.

Found these two animal crackers gettin' freaky in a box I bought and had to take a picture AND WHOA, WE DON'T GO FOR THAT THERE STUFF HERE IN THE SOUTH!  
*chomp munch munch*

And lastly, my first olive off of my olive tree...

A quick update post...

Since the spider war is over, I've been in the shop cleaning, reorganizing and actually WORKING ON HALLOWE'EN PROPS!  I've neglected blogging a bit but I have some tutorials on some of my new and old props that you might be interested in coming up soon...as well as pictures of Snuggie, my new Chiweinie.

And remember, the clock is ticking, you should be working on props and decorations!

Winner for the Month of May From Brochures Printing Online!

Congratulations to Pam Morris of Labryinth Creations for being chosen by Random.org to be this month's winner of 100 custom brochures from Brochures Printing Online!   

Again, congratulations Pam from Brochures Printing Online, (my wonderful sponsor) and myself!

Happy Birthday...To MOI!!!

Gentle readers, I'm so sorry that I have been MIA for a while, for things have been hectic lately from the brown recluse massacre in my shed (thanks to my very understanding exterminators who still treat me with respect in spite of the fact that there was a shed full of skulls, skeletal parts and coffins in it), to actually working (yah!  I can buy name brand macaroni and cheese this week for dinner!), to reorganizing the shed (ugh, organization is NOT my forte').

And in the process, I have a birthday tomorrow. 46 years old....1......2......3.....................................


AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!


Ok, I'm better now.  I'm calm, collect and able to take this like the strong, mature man that I have grown to be...mainly by having a mid-life crisis!  Yay!  That will be fun!  I can get an earring, a tattoo, a motorcycle, some leather pants, and, uh, uh, $#@^&!!!  Been there, done all that.

I'm prattling, forgive me, we just got a new puppy, a 4 pound Chiweenie puppy that has this habit of waking up at 3 in the morning wanting to pee and play and I'm rather delirious at the moment.  I've made some great progress on the piano playing ghost; the mechanism works wonderfully, the hands go up and down and back and forth across the keys.  I will post pictures and video soon of the progress. I bought myself (or rather Bellasarius) a new top hat today.  I, (or rather Bellasarius), has a big fat ginormous head, a XXL hat so I have to  order a hat online when I can catch them carrying big sizes.  I have waited for this company to get this top hat in for about a year in my size.  Why can't things be normal for me just once.

Sorry for the stream of consciousness writing, I promise to do better next post.

From the Garden

Despite my overwhelming love of things dark and dank, I do have a certain passion for beautiful flowers.  The theme of the garden is magic, I try to have plants in there that have some sort of wondrous or spiritual significance to them (I have a ton of marigolds in there for the Day of the Dead but I figured you know what a marigold looks like). These are some that are currently on stage in the garden right now.  Above we have lantana, a scrubby bush with flowerheads that change color as they bloom outward, like magic. I think this one is called Candy.

Next we have the French Poodles of the plant world...roses.  They're temperamental, fussy, and takes a lot of TLC but if everything is right, they're breathtakingly beautiful.

The bottom newest one called Cinco de Mayo.
And if roses are the French poodles of the plant world, peonies are the drag queens...showy, over the top, and absolutely stunning...

By the way, can someone tell me what kind of tree this is that popped up on the edge of the garden?

I thought it might be some kind of maple but the leaves are really large. Whatever it is, please tell me it has beautiful fall color, please?

The scream you heard was ME!

This is the little friend I saw in the shed yesterday (I didn't take this photo, I was busy hanging from the ceiling by my fingernails like a cartoon cat when I saw it, this is from the Florida Department of Agriculture website).  It's a Brown Recluse, a particularly nasty little spider that can do some bad damage to you if you're bitten.  Nevertheless, the pest control guy came over today and I had to let him in the shed, THE shed...the shed with MULTIPLE skulls on the shelves...the shed with a life size COFFIN in it...the shed with, oh, you get the picture.  I opened the door and just said, "Please don't judge me, just get rid of the spider."  He was unfazed, which is a good thing and set out multiple traps to see if I really did have brown recluse spiders (I DON'T GIVE A $%$#@ WHAT THE ($(^%& IT IS OR ISN'T, JUST KILLLLLLLLLLLL IT!:[consequently, my personal beliefs are that all life is sacred and to be respected...except for spiders]).

As I was working on the piano playing ghost, I was having phantom crawlies on my legs which weirded me out and every thing I picked up was inspected VERY closely.

My next door neighbor's son had/has a black widow in a little clear plastic box on his mantle.  He feeds it crickets.  I don't understand.

Who's up for evil clown stalking?

Somebody have a birthday coming up?  What about an anniversary?   Forget trite chocolate, passe' flowers or dull trinkets.   There's a service in Europe where you can hire a scary @$$ clown to stalk someone all day long! That beats dinner and a movie any day in MY book!

Terror is the gift that keeps on giving...night after night after night after nightmare....

Haunted iPhone App Review!

iOvilus app from Digital Dowsing, available through iTunes for the iPhone

When you deal with the paranormal and supernatural, people usually have definite opinions on the subject and like rear ends, everyone else's one stinks except theirs.  I personally believe in ghosts, not just the ones that I make in the shop either.  I have, seen, heard, smelled, and experienced things that I simply can't explain being of the natural realm;, I'm going to be a little bit more critical of this app because of that reason.

I will tell you a little story about last night when I was on the back screened-in porch (the weather has been nothing less than glorious here lately).  While I was sitting down eating my chicken salad on bibb lettuce, the iOvilus was chatting away merrily now and then in its decidedly British accent.  It kept saying 'branches' more than usual so I asked aloud, "what about branches?" These words followed:

Branches
Behind
Iron
round
match
nice

What the *&#^$?  Then, it suddenly kind of hit me...THIS was directly behind me...

I had moved my iron rebar bottle tree filled with ceramic jack-o-lanterns into the screened-in porch and it was directly behind me.  The pumpkins are round, lit with a match and the limbs of the rebar tree are indeed branches.

Chilling.  And this is a true story, I'm not making this up.  The names Frank and Monica kept popping up as well as happy yells.  The owners of the house I live in were not named Frank nor Monica.

The only thing or two that I have issue with is the voice is sometimes hard to understand and there is NO screen showing the words as shown on the picture above; I would suppose that is in the works.  Otherwise, this is a fun app.  Yes, sometimes you get gobbledygook, but you never know.  Maybe Frank and Monica just want someone to acknowledge their presence, maybe it was all an accident, who knows?

I would definitely recommend this app.  I think it was 99 cents.  Even if you don't have an experience like mine, it's still fun to listen to it and try to figure out what it's trying to say.

And I guess that whoever it is that spoke through it, likes the tree though, that's a good thing I would think!

Back...

I haven't blogged in a week or so, things have been busy with work and setting up 2 computers from Vista to Windows 7.  I basically reformatted the main computer because it had become so slow it was pitiful.  I will have to say that Windows 7 is a good operating system;  I like XP a bit better but ANYTHING is better to me than Vista (I loathed it!).

No, I'm not trying to show off my nonexistent technical savvy but if you have the means, by all means dump Vista, Windows 7 is infinitely better.

Mrs. Macabre bought me a laptop too the other day. I was stunned.  I love it.  This way I can further my quest to laziness where I can get on the internet from my easy chair!  All I need is a catheter bag and I won't have to move!  Or was that over the top?

I did get in the shop yesterday and whipped up a gift for a Secret Santa sort of thing called the Secret Pumpkin I do each year.  I made a Pot full O' Trouble for them and am going to pack some more goodies in the box too.

I like the little skeleton, found him in a box and decided to stick him on top.

Better late than never...Happy Easter!

Poopy jelly bean bunny wishes you the best of Easters.

Why the &%$#@ did someone think that a wind up toy of a bunny pooping jelly beans was a good idea?  Please, someone answer this question for me so I can die in peace.

April Fools! Eviltron Giveaway!

Devious.

Sneaky.

Cruel.

Sadistic.

I love you people!  You single handedly restored my faith in viscous retaliation!   In honor of April Fool's Day, I have consulted the Random.org oracle and received an answer to my question:  who is going to brutally scare someone with an Eviltron?

Melissa of Fantastical World of Holidays is going to be a very very naughty person with her new Eviltron!  For such a sweet name as Melissa, she's going to be a she-devil on someone!

One request from dear old Mr. Macabre...would you please report back the results from your scare?  Enquiring minds would love to know!  

Congratulations and happy scaring! 

Haunted Product Review--AND GIVEAWAY!!!

I got this today and it is TOTALLY cool and evil, hence the name Eviltron!  A small electronic unit a bit larger than a quarter with a powerful magnet on the top.
So what?

It's what it DOES that counts...scares the $#!+ out of someone!  With a choice of 5 short creepy sounds (scratching, a creak, a hiss, a little girl laughing, a man saying 'hey can you hear me?' and a random mode that mixes up the sounds), you simply choose the creepy sound that you would like and hide it, the powerful magnet holding it securely in place!  Then the fun starts, ever so often, it goes off...what was that, did you hear that?  What do you think that was?!  I don't hear it now, what do you think it was?!  Listen, I think I heard it again!!!  What was that?!
Where could you put this fun little device?  Here's a few suggestions:

• under the bed
• in a kid's closet (probably will cost you later in therapy bills, I wouldn't recommend this!)
• in the car
• anywhere you want to scare

I'm giving away 1 brand spanking new Eviltron unit.  All you have to do is leave a comment about who you're going to freak out and why!  How fun and easy is that?!
Only 1 thing, I MUST have a way to get hold of you if you win (I use Random.org for drawings).  If you're anonymous, I don't have any way of getting your Eviltron to you!

Drawing will be on April 1st...April Fool's Day (appropriate!)

So (rubbing his gnarled hands together in evil delight), tell Mr. Macabre who you're going to scare and why...

Good luck, you sneaky devils!

P.S.  Since I only have 1 Eviltron to give away, you might not want to take any chances...Click Here to be transported to ThinkGeek.com to buy an Eviltron for yourself!

P.S.S.  I have a confession to make...I was HONESTLY going to put one of these babies under Sausage Von Trapp's bed and leave it when I went to teach her kids art.  It could only have been heard when she and Baron Von Trapp went to bed.  I know that she's spooked fairly easily and I guess my sense of compassion has gotten the best of me.  @%$#&! my conscience!