Saturday, August 21, 2010

And Now for Something TRULY TERRIFYING!!!

When I was growing up, I would go to my grandmother's house and on top of the television in a faux cut crystal glass dish they sat, gently being warmed by the Philco console.  

Circus Peanuts...candy of the damned.

I was at an elderly customer's house the other day and after finishing, she pulled a grandmother on me...tried to feed me.  Oh yes, I put up a brave fight, saying that I was on Weight Watchers, didn't want to be a trouble, really wasn't hungry, but in the end I lost and she reveled in her victory by loading me up,  a couple of pieces of pizza, 2 pecan swirl pastries, a bag of homemade coconut macaroons, and my eyes beheld the horror... 

CIRCUS PEANUTS!!!

Memories flooded my head of the orange peanut shaped concoctions.  I think my first thought as a young child tasting the strange sweet lump was the same as the one as I had last week...

WTF?!

*shudder* why the #*&@$ do these companies think that a creepy @$$ clown that looks like he's about to throw up orange chunks is a good marketing strategy for this product?!!!!  
I'm not going to say what these look like because you already know. I just now noticed the company name on them.  
They say that it's marshmallow.  I say more like a cross between stale Play Dough and spoiled Duncan Hines frosting.   If you leave them out to get stale, you can build a storm shelter with them.  The taste, I just don't know.  PLEASE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT THE TASTE OF A CIRCUS PEANUT IS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN DIE IN PEACE!!!   Traditionally, foods are flavored to mimic, however loosely, a flavor found in nature.  I cannot determine the base flavor of this at all.   

And if you suck them like a Jolly Rancher, they get really slimy in your mouth a fizz a tiny bit.   I think that I threw up in my mouth a little just now.

I'm going to go lie down now, I'm getting rather queasy thinking about these.

7 comments:

Ali said...

You post was hilarious and sorry, but I've never tried the nefarious circus peanut candy.

Mebbe they taste like chicken? LOL!

cinderelly said...

it IS an unidentifiable flavor! eeewww! and i feel the same way about clowns. ~shudder~

halloween spirit said...

Yes!! I remember these! Although I recall them as yellow and disguised as "bananas". And the various elderly people in my life seemed to love them. I wonder if I'll have a dish of them in the house when I'm eighty . . . :/

Ghoul Friday said...

I think you pretty much covered it with Play Dough and spoiled Duncan Hines frosting.

Stale sugar. No real flavor.

Absolutely gross.

PumpkinBrain said...

I never tasted circus peanuts but I do know about those that looks like bananas. My grandmother always had a bowl of those on her table with another bowl filled with marshmallow strawberries. Back then I was able to eat them and I remember I liked the taste too. Today I think it taste only sugar and I just can't stand the idea of eating one anymore.

littledeadmommy said...

I too wonder what those are supposed to taste like. I looked at the spangler company's website and they say that their circus peanuts are banana flavored. (Brach's says "banana inspired").

What's worse than a circus peanut?...I'm going to assume Circus Peanut Gelatin dessert. They have a recipe for it on their circus peanut page. Gross!
http://www.spanglercandy.com/spangler/products/circuspeanuts.php

Mr. Macabre said...

BANANA FLAVORED?! "INSPIRED"!?!!

You know, I'm going to forgo all the horribly scary yard decorations and just make a batch of Circus Peanut Gelatin Surprise Dessert!
The surprise you might ask? If you don't throw up it's a surprise!

Thanks for sharing,(I think!)