Sunday, October 18, 2009

My First Blog Rant--a revisitation of Trunk or Treat

I saw it the other day, a sign promoting Trunk or Treat.  I blew a fuse, again.  I looked back and found my first blog rant and I can say that my feelings have only grown stronger...In case you might not know what Trunk or &$%@# Treat is, or my thoughts on it, here you go...

Ok, I'm strong, I can do this without cussing. No I can't.
Trunk or treat is a fairly new concept in which people go to a parking lot either in a church or a shopping center and open the trunks to their cars, decorate them, usually cute or (shudder) educational, and provide a safe, well-lit area for children to come, heavily supervised, to get candy.
Whew, I did it, I really got through an explanation of THAT @$%&# ABOMINATION THAT IS AS STUPID AS IT IS LAME!!!
Looks like I didn't get through it after all but I don't care!  I despise the concept and the underlying watering down of Hallowe'en, I have seen one where everyone's cars were lined up and each trunk was an educational thing on different countries.  You learned about the country and got a treat that was respresentative of the country.  GOOD LORD PEOPLE, THESE KIDS GO TO SCHOOL ALL THE TIME, AT LEAST LET THEM HAVE A LITTLE INANE FUN FOR A #@%&# CHANGE!!!  I would have had Australia and given the little nippers Vegemite (being a terribly salty and yeasty spread from Australia, had it once, tasted like boiled down brown beer) and told them, "Now, you learn from this, trick or treating means sugar and chocolate, trick or @$#^%& trunking or whatever the #@&*$ this is, means learning more crap and getting lousy crap to eat.  Now go be a little @%#$% until your mom and dad lets you go to a couple of doors and get something to rot out your teeth and don't let me catch you near a car trunk again. Happy *%#@$% Hallowe'en kid".
Do I make myself crystal clear?  I don't like Trunk or Treat.
The other thing is Fall Festivals, Harvest Festivals, Family Festivals, and the like. I grew up going to a Hallowe'en Carnival at my elementary school, Crestmont Elementary.  You could tell when it was October 1, advertisement signs were hung in the lunchroom from strings like garland. We got to wear our Hallowe'en costumes on Hallowe'en and I believe the Friday night before we had the Halloween carnival. Every classroom had an event and you bought tickets to each event. You could go fishing in which you cast your line over a movable blackboard with cutout fish adorning the front and when your line gave a tug, you reeled in a toy!  Or you could visit the witches' house and feel a bowlful of worms (cold spaghetti), dead men's eyes (peeled grapes) or bowl of blood (ketchup).  Maybe you had the hankering to find out what the future held by visiting the fortune teller (who looked suspiciously like one of the fourth grade teachers) or walk through the haunted house (ignoring the Patch the Pony posters and desks lined up to make a path through horrors of volunteers jumping out with rubber masks in the blacklight).  I fail to see where I am, or anyone else that went to our school has been mentally scarred or turned out to be a Satanic priest because of Hallowe'en carnivals.
Then came the 80's where suddenly Hallowe'en was suddenly the devil's birthday and the grand and glorious crusade of imposed rightousness stripped us of Scream in the Dark put on by Campus Life Ministries, Savage House Haunted Hayride hosted by Gordo Methodist Youth and a host of other VERY good quality haunted houses.  Lies permeated about Hallowe'en and the deep evil that it imposed on our children that we must protect.  And I bought into it, for about 1 year and I was miserable that year.
Never, ever, ever again.

21 comments:

Ghoul Friday said...

Stop being vague. Do you like it or not?

*grin*

Diane said...

*gigling* satanic priest

i completely agree!

i have to tell you ... the other day my daughter stumped her toe and yelled "h-e-double-hockey-sticks!" and it sooo reminded me of you! lol

Mr.Macabre said...

I...I'm so proud...
I, I just have something in my eye, I'm not crying...

Mr.Macabre said...

I'm on the fence about it Ghoul Friday, I just need a few days to make up my mind.

ShellHawk said...

You are utterly correct in youw wholehearted damnation of this STUPID effing practice!
Almost as dumb and horrible as Sprit Halloween's campaign to move Halloween to the last Saturday of every October. Am I going insane, or did I wake up in a country that allows retail stores to dictate when ancient Holidays are celebrated?!
Bastards!
Ooops! Sorry to rant on your rant! ;o)

Mr.Macabre said...

You go girl, rant all you want!

Pam Morris said...

outstanding speech!!! I remember all that stuff in elementary school! what a blast..also remember grabbing a pillowcase and heading out the door in my homemade, very scarey costume, for a LONG night of trick or treating--you stayed out as long as you wanted--no city/county telling you the 'hours for trick r'treating'!! also, remember going out with a pack of my friends and running like hell thru the neighborhood--no parents in tow! those were the days!

The creepy vegan said...

I can't tell you enough how much I agree with this.

The Captain said...

Put on your helmet, use hand sanitizer, don't eat that it feel on the ground, get candy out of the truck of a car!?!

WTF is wrong with people? Halloween is probably the one holiday that is the most kid friendly and the adults are trying to $c&@w it up for them! Just get off your asses and take your children out trick r treating, instead of letting the "community" watch them for you at truck r' freakin treat!

sausage von trapp said...

Actually, thanks to last year's trunk or treat, my children's reading scores climbed two letter grades, and they learned how to speak German and French...

sausage von trapp said...

...and Spanish.

sausage von trapp said...

...and a degree in horticulture.

The Captain said...

Maybe I need to go to trunk r' treat because my last post is full of typos and misspelled words.

Auburnhairedartist said...

I agree. The whole trunk or treat think sounds absurdly riddiculous to me. I could never participate in such an idiotic ritual!
First of all, I'd have to clean out my trunk!

Mr.Macabre said...

Captain, me are theys teechur an me knowz me taut thems all abouts thems learnins and stuff, not froms trunc or treetin.
And I explicitly agree, QUIT WRAPPING OUR KIDS IN BUBBLE WRAP!!! My grandmother tossed a tablecloth over the lunch table to keep the flies off the food and when you got hungry, you just went and grabbed a bite and put the cloth back and no body ever got sick. Trick or treating is one of the last great children's traditions that is going to fast fade into oblivion if this sanitization doesn't stop!

ShellHawk said...

I'd have to get the body out of the trunk, too, and I need it for ballast.
Oh, I'd probably have to have kids, too.
I think a little butter and garlic would make them go down easier. So tasty!

halloween spirit said...

Never heard of Trunk or Treat, but it sounds like the worst idea since trick-or-treating in malls on the Saturday afternoon before Halloween. So glad that my children have always run wild in the streets. :D

As for your lack of mental scars, I've just seen your glue stick post, so I'll have to reserve judgement. ;)

merricat said...

I'm going to pass out copies of this at my in-law's trunk or treat ;)
Shh....

Mr.Macabre said...

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssseee do it! :))

PumpkinBrain said...

Never heard of Trunk or Treat too. But the idea sound totally "stupide", "imbécile", "scandaleuse", "cave", "nono"... sorry, I got in an enumeration of french words :-)

Still I don't like that idea, it's as bad of Spirit Halloween idea of displacing Halloween for the last Saturday of the month... I don't really know where the world is going but I'm not taking the same road for sure.

Wendy the (Very) Good Witch said...

Oh what a fabulous post Mr. M! We could have gone to the same elementary school, sans the name. We had those exact same games, and haunted house. I laughed about the 4th grade teacher fortune teller...so very true. My 1st grade teacher was a pick pocket clown. You handed her a ticket and you got to pick her pocket for some cheap plastic toy, trinket or candy. The entrance to the haunted house was covered by black trash bags that had been cut into slits and flapped in the breeze. People were allowed to grab you back them. Slimy hands on the backs of legs...ick! We loved the school carnival. And even my church had a Halloween carnival. Not a Fall festival, but a Halloween carnival complete with Haunted House and bobbing for apples and scary costumes like witches and ghosts. And they did a great job of making the haunted house really grotesque and scary. If the Southern Baptist congregation wasn't worried that they were delivering our young souls to the devil through an innocent and fun Hallowe'en Carnival, then why in the heck are all these righteous do-gooders trying to demonize it today? And I can't believe that Spirit stores are trying to change the date of the holiday. Curses to them all and a pox on their foreheads!