Thursday, December 11, 2008

Mid-Vacation Update

Mrs. Macabre allowed me to bring one of the laptops and huzzah! we have wifi here. Just got back from eating at Golden Corral (what I affectionately call a feeding trough).
What a nightmare, and not in the good way.
It was pretty good food but you better get your $&*#@% out of the way because these little old retirees will run your ^#*$!@$ over. I don't know what the deal is, it's not like they were going to run out of food anytime soon; some little old man was right in my personal space like I was suddenly going to tip the whole tray of macaroni and cheese in my plate and laugh maniacally in his face screaming "MINE, ALL MINE, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!"

It's kind of been that way everywhere we've gone, people have been in some sort of frenzy of going somewhere fast, and woe to you if you get in their way, your &#%$^ will be run down and over. We did go into one of those "AS SEEN ON TV" stores, you know the stuff, all the worthless crap that is hawked by Billy Mays (and just who the hell is Billy and why should we trust people with a British accent to buy some miracle product?!)and it was a blast. Everything that you can imagine that was once on TV was there, it was fun! Your life is a dark depressing abyss of hell unless you stop peeling potatoes with an ordinary peeler (which shows the poor woman slipping and gashing through her artery and slowly dying in a pool of her own blood, too weak to call 911) and start peeling them with the Potatoe Paws. You damn fool, what the hell are you waiting for, your spouse is going to leave your sorry ^$%#@ if you peel one more potato without the Potato Paws! The one thing that I wanted was a foot massager (unfortunately it was 300.00 and it stayed on the shelf).
Went to Cherokee NC today. The drive was spectacular, it had snowed on the mountaintops and it was gorgeous but we got there and I was pretty disappointed, it was nothing like what I expected, the place was pretty economically depressed except for one big Harrah's casino. IT was in good shape. There was just a bunch of junk shops around but otherwise not much. Native Americans (and yes, I can talk, my great grandmother was full Cherokee) have got the shaft over the last 200 years. Anyhow, the mountain top did something we didn't expect--it froze and we had to go 85 miles out of the way. Still, it was a pretty drive. We then came by the Christmas Store, a massive store crammed full of yes, Christmas stuff. I am fully convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that after a day of listening to Christmas songs all day, each and every employee goes home to unwind to Marilyn Manson, Black Sabbath or Ozzie. I was ALL Christmased out when I left that place, definitely not the place for a Halloween person.
Gatlinburg is looking a bit better admittingly, like a slow facelife is taking place. Some of the trashy souvenier shops are gone and some nicer trashy souvenier shops are taking their place. I like the shops that entice you to buy things that you wouldn't normally wear at home, like the western stores with the cowboy hats (yes, I bought one once there and wore it once) or the airbrushed tees, or the henna tatoos or my favorite, kids walking down the street trying to look like they live on the streets when in fact they get into a SUV, but then again they do that anyhow in my hometown. But that's another rant for another day...
More to come later...

4 comments:

SpiderBaby said...

Hey, what area was your great grandmother from?

Mr.Macabre said...

Although we're not 100% sure because the courthouse burned in Tyler Texas many many years ago, my grandfather was born in Tyler Texas which would lead me to believe that my great grandmother was from that area.

SpiderBaby said...

Oh ok, If she was from Tennessee we might be kin, both my great-grandmothers on my dad's side were Cherokee. I don't really know anyone in his family, so I was just checking.
Courthouses burning down back in the day cause a lot of problems with finding out info on people and places. The one in Ellisville Mississippi burnt down and I've heard a lot of people complain about that.

Mr.Macabre said...

I do know how that is, my great-grandfather was a silversmith, was killed in a gunfight and we don't have really that much more information because of the courthouse burning. I think that we had to contact the Mormon's database to see exactly how old my grandfather really was when he died because he said one thing and some outdated records said another. I wish I would have talked to my grandparents more when they were alive for the history of our family!