The scream you heard was ME!

This is the little friend I saw in the shed yesterday (I didn't take this photo, I was busy hanging from the ceiling by my fingernails like a cartoon cat when I saw it, this is from the Florida Department of Agriculture website).  It's a Brown Recluse, a particularly nasty little spider that can do some bad damage to you if you're bitten.  Nevertheless, the pest control guy came over today and I had to let him in the shed, THE shed...the shed with MULTIPLE skulls on the shelves...the shed with a life size COFFIN in it...the shed with, oh, you get the picture.  I opened the door and just said, "Please don't judge me, just get rid of the spider."  He was unfazed, which is a good thing and set out multiple traps to see if I really did have brown recluse spiders (I DON'T GIVE A $%$#@ WHAT THE ($(^%& IT IS OR ISN'T, JUST KILLLLLLLLLLLL IT!:[consequently, my personal beliefs are that all life is sacred and to be respected...except for spiders]).

As I was working on the piano playing ghost, I was having phantom crawlies on my legs which weirded me out and every thing I picked up was inspected VERY closely.

My next door neighbor's son had/has a black widow in a little clear plastic box on his mantle.  He feeds it crickets.  I don't understand.

Who's up for evil clown stalking?

Somebody have a birthday coming up?  What about an anniversary?   Forget trite chocolate, passe' flowers or dull trinkets.   There's a service in Europe where you can hire a scary @$$ clown to stalk someone all day long! That beats dinner and a movie any day in MY book!

Terror is the gift that keeps on giving...night after night after night after nightmare....

Haunted iPhone App Review!

iOvilus app from Digital Dowsing, available through iTunes for the iPhone

When you deal with the paranormal and supernatural, people usually have definite opinions on the subject and like rear ends, everyone else's one stinks except theirs.  I personally believe in ghosts, not just the ones that I make in the shop either.  I have, seen, heard, smelled, and experienced things that I simply can't explain being of the natural realm;, I'm going to be a little bit more critical of this app because of that reason.

I will tell you a little story about last night when I was on the back screened-in porch (the weather has been nothing less than glorious here lately).  While I was sitting down eating my chicken salad on bibb lettuce, the iOvilus was chatting away merrily now and then in its decidedly British accent.  It kept saying 'branches' more than usual so I asked aloud, "what about branches?" These words followed:

Branches
Behind
Iron
round
match
nice

What the *&#^$?  Then, it suddenly kind of hit me...THIS was directly behind me...

I had moved my iron rebar bottle tree filled with ceramic jack-o-lanterns into the screened-in porch and it was directly behind me.  The pumpkins are round, lit with a match and the limbs of the rebar tree are indeed branches.

Chilling.  And this is a true story, I'm not making this up.  The names Frank and Monica kept popping up as well as happy yells.  The owners of the house I live in were not named Frank nor Monica.

The only thing or two that I have issue with is the voice is sometimes hard to understand and there is NO screen showing the words as shown on the picture above; I would suppose that is in the works.  Otherwise, this is a fun app.  Yes, sometimes you get gobbledygook, but you never know.  Maybe Frank and Monica just want someone to acknowledge their presence, maybe it was all an accident, who knows?

I would definitely recommend this app.  I think it was 99 cents.  Even if you don't have an experience like mine, it's still fun to listen to it and try to figure out what it's trying to say.

And I guess that whoever it is that spoke through it, likes the tree though, that's a good thing I would think!

Back...

I haven't blogged in a week or so, things have been busy with work and setting up 2 computers from Vista to Windows 7.  I basically reformatted the main computer because it had become so slow it was pitiful.  I will have to say that Windows 7 is a good operating system;  I like XP a bit better but ANYTHING is better to me than Vista (I loathed it!).

No, I'm not trying to show off my nonexistent technical savvy but if you have the means, by all means dump Vista, Windows 7 is infinitely better.

Mrs. Macabre bought me a laptop too the other day. I was stunned.  I love it.  This way I can further my quest to laziness where I can get on the internet from my easy chair!  All I need is a catheter bag and I won't have to move!  Or was that over the top?

I did get in the shop yesterday and whipped up a gift for a Secret Santa sort of thing called the Secret Pumpkin I do each year.  I made a Pot full O' Trouble for them and am going to pack some more goodies in the box too.

I like the little skeleton, found him in a box and decided to stick him on top.

Better late than never...Happy Easter!

Poopy jelly bean bunny wishes you the best of Easters.

Why the &%$#@ did someone think that a wind up toy of a bunny pooping jelly beans was a good idea?  Please, someone answer this question for me so I can die in peace.

April Fools! Eviltron Giveaway!

Devious.

Sneaky.

Cruel.

Sadistic.

I love you people!  You single handedly restored my faith in viscous retaliation!   In honor of April Fool's Day, I have consulted the Random.org oracle and received an answer to my question:  who is going to brutally scare someone with an Eviltron?

Melissa of Fantastical World of Holidays is going to be a very very naughty person with her new Eviltron!  For such a sweet name as Melissa, she's going to be a she-devil on someone!

One request from dear old Mr. Macabre...would you please report back the results from your scare?  Enquiring minds would love to know!  

Congratulations and happy scaring! 

Haunted Product Review--AND GIVEAWAY!!!

I got this today and it is TOTALLY cool and evil, hence the name Eviltron!  A small electronic unit a bit larger than a quarter with a powerful magnet on the top.
So what?

It's what it DOES that counts...scares the $#!+ out of someone!  With a choice of 5 short creepy sounds (scratching, a creak, a hiss, a little girl laughing, a man saying 'hey can you hear me?' and a random mode that mixes up the sounds), you simply choose the creepy sound that you would like and hide it, the powerful magnet holding it securely in place!  Then the fun starts, ever so often, it goes off...what was that, did you hear that?  What do you think that was?!  I don't hear it now, what do you think it was?!  Listen, I think I heard it again!!!  What was that?!
Where could you put this fun little device?  Here's a few suggestions:

• under the bed
• in a kid's closet (probably will cost you later in therapy bills, I wouldn't recommend this!)
• in the car
• anywhere you want to scare

I'm giving away 1 brand spanking new Eviltron unit.  All you have to do is leave a comment about who you're going to freak out and why!  How fun and easy is that?!
Only 1 thing, I MUST have a way to get hold of you if you win (I use Random.org for drawings).  If you're anonymous, I don't have any way of getting your Eviltron to you!

Drawing will be on April 1st...April Fool's Day (appropriate!)

So (rubbing his gnarled hands together in evil delight), tell Mr. Macabre who you're going to scare and why...

Good luck, you sneaky devils!

P.S.  Since I only have 1 Eviltron to give away, you might not want to take any chances...Click Here to be transported to ThinkGeek.com to buy an Eviltron for yourself!

P.S.S.  I have a confession to make...I was HONESTLY going to put one of these babies under Sausage Von Trapp's bed and leave it when I went to teach her kids art.  It could only have been heard when she and Baron Von Trapp went to bed.  I know that she's spooked fairly easily and I guess my sense of compassion has gotten the best of me.  @%$#&! my conscience! 

When Zombies Attack!! A MUST SEE!!!!

I found this through a perusing through Pumpkinrot's past entries.    You HAVE to see it...it's hilarious, I love the expressions of the kids!  Puppets, zombies, kids and grainy old film...I'm in love!

Click Here To Zip To The Site!

My first cease and desist!

Remember THIS post?
 
Please, gentle readers, keep in mind that my comments on this post was," I don't know who to bow down and grovel at their feet for executing these works of art but whoever they are, they are genius!".

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "How Fairy Tales Really End":

My name is Dina Goldstein and I'm the creator of Fallen Princesses.
I just found my work on your site..used without permission.
Also added is a shot of sushi ..that is NOT part of my series!!! and a great insult to my work.
Dina Goldstein
http://www.fallenprincesses.com
Please fix this asap.

Publish this comment.

Reject this comment.

Moderate comments for this blog.

Posted by Anonymous to Mr. Macabre's Hallowe'en Cerebrations at Monday, March 22, 2010 12:07:00 PM

 I will say and maintain that Ms. Goldstein is indeed talented. I had no idea who she was, where these came from or the series she created. I have removed them from my blog but left the sushi since it was not part of her series (I had no idea that it wasn't part of the series, this was forwarded to me in an email and I posted it as is).

My sincerest apologies to Ms. Goldstein for unknowingly insulting her work and for unknowingly publicizing her Fallen Princesses series with the sushi.  I encourage her to use a watermark on her work to prevent further infringements, both knowingly and unknowingly as mine was.

However, a more genteel response might have been:

My name is Dina Goldstein and I'm the creator of Fallen Princesses.
I just found my work on your site, thank you for your kind comments on my talent and that you enjoy my work. However, this was posted without permission and I am not at liberty to grant permission to use my works at this time.
Also added is a shot of sushi ..that is not part of my series.
Thank you for your attention to this, I appreciate it.
Dina Goldstein
http://www.fallenprincesses.com

Oh, I almost forgot...A Sponsor for the Unresting Place!

The Final Unresting Place Cemetery got a sponsor for 2010, with an organization that is near and dear to my cold, black vile heart, the West Alabama Humane Society.  I will be collecting money for the West Alabama Humane Society to help take care of homeless animals.  In return, I will be able to link myself to this organization and in a win-win situation, promoting the Unresting Place and at the same time, helping animals.

And like Bob Barker used to say "spay and neuter your pets"; there's not enough totally insane people like me to adopt and love them all.
 

Haunted Book Review...On Any Given Day

I'm going to start doing book reviews as I can instead of just waiting until a Thursday...


The Complete Haunted House Book

Written and illustrated by Tim Harkleroad



I have several books on how to make a haunted house even though I don't run a haunted house per se (I'm a yard haunter by definition).  I got them in the early days when I was trying to decide what to do with haunting. 

This book (and I didn't pay $210.22 for it) is an excellent guide for the beginner and the more advanced haunter, either if you are just doing a small haunted house or something a little more elaborate.  From finding a house to haunt, construction, making money, making monsters, making props, making scenes, making special effects, this book can guide you each step of the way.  The directions to each effect are clearly illustrated, workable, and doable for most everyone who has put up some shelving or hung a ceiling fan.  He has a small section on party and home haunts with a couple of recipes and even some tips for haunted hayrides.  Even if you're strictly a yard haunter like me, you would still benefit from the make-up, masks and costumes section, the illusions section as well as the special effects section. 

This book is a great resource for the home haunter and pro haunter alike so would I recommend you get it? Yes I would, but scout around for it a bit, $210.22 is a bit steep.

Go get yourself something free!!! Shellhawk's Postcard Giveaway!

Shell of Shellhawk's Nest is hosting her first giveaway.  She's giving away 100 full color front and back custom postcards from Uprinting.com.  I designed and received a set a couple of weeks back and they are gorgeous!  I'm using mine to promote the comeback of the Final Unresting Place Cemetery with my new sponsor, the West Alabama Humane Society and I can always use some more!

So get on over the Shellhawk's Nest and enter!

A Dare...How to eat a Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie

Most people who know me know that I have a big mouth but contrary to popular belief, I cannot dislocate my jaws and swallow small children.

Yet.

However, Sausage dared me to eat a whole Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie...whole, no bites, no folding the pie, it had to go all the way in whole and perfect.

Pfft, this wasn't a challenge to the man to can put half a soda can in his mouth.

I'm sorry you all had to see this.

And by the way...

Lots of people don't have iPhones but might like their picture done with this program...send me a jpeg photo if you would like to: mr.macabre@hotmail.com as an attachment with the word "photo" in the subject so my spam filter won't eat it and I'll be happy to do it for you and send it back to you.  I won't color it, you can print it out and do it with crayons or in Paint if you'd like since color is kinda personal.

I would like to show some of these in a blog entry if you'd like but only if you let me know it would be ok...otherwise I'll just email the sketch back to you if you don't say anything.  Be sure to give me a day or two to get it back to you in case it's a pretty day outside and I want to go frolic in the dandelions.

A hint...lighter or medium lit photos do better...darker photos don't do as well.

One more...

Made a frowny face and snapped it. Is my nose really that big?  I look like the love child of a troll and the Wicked Witch of the West!

Now THIS is fun...

Got an iPhone?  Then you need to mosey on over to the app store and buy ToonFX Paint!  See how pretty it made me!

Before........

After!

With a bit of color (courtesy of Baron Von Trapp, unfortunately the yellow eyes didn't come through)
And of course...Sausage Von Trapp....

She looks positively evil in this...love it!

DON'T buy the program for the computer, it does NOT work the same, VERY unfortunately!!!  I bought it and it doesn't look anything like these with the textures and shadowings.   I have to import and export pictures through my phone to doctor on them.

Would y'all like application reviews that I've found?  Computer programs that might be of interest?  Give me a shout yea or nae.

Piano Man

Some progress on the piano...first of all, an upright piano is a heavy Heavy HEAVY piece of wood and metal.  It took 3 strong men to load it in my van, and I stood on the sidelines cheering them on. 

Then came the delicate job of disemboweling it. 

Until we finally have it stripped down into something that will be canvas for something a little more...haunted....

More to come...........

A Site for Sore Eyes--Phantasmechanics!

Betcha didn't know that I am a Phantasmechanic, didja?  You might not have ever heard of Doug Ferguson but I bet that most haunters have heard of and built a Flying Crank Ghost (otherwise known as a FCG to us haunt geeks). Doug Ferguson is the inventor of the Flying Crank Ghost and I would dare say the father of modern home haunting.  You NEEEEEEEED to traipse on over to Phantasmechanics.com and start sifting through the many, many pages of fascinating information and plans for Hallowe'en animatronics.  This is a MUST.

Oh, and by the way, I said that I was a Phantasmechanic, didn't I?  Scroll on down until you see a link on Harry the Hitcher, yep, that's yours truly.  That was the first incarnation of Harry before he got a makeover.  There's tons of other props there as well as safety hints and my favorite...The Dark Ride Project, the House of Shock made a dark ride from scratch...fascinating reading.

And yes, I'm an uber haunt geek!

All I can say is...coooool!

For you die-hard Lugosi or Dracula fans out there, I present this:

The Ebay auction listing is right here! I wouldn't mind him hanging in glorious full color in my living room (However, Mrs. Macabre has a wildly different opinion on this).  Below is the description, a lot of elbow grease went into making these!

THIS FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND POSTER WAS SOLD BY THE

CAPTAIN COMPANY AND HONOR HOUSE PRODUCTS COMPANY IN THE 1960'S AND

 EARLY 1970'S. 

THE POSTER WAS JUST REPRODUCED BY MY COMPANY IN 

...FULL COLOR...

"THE FULL IMAGE WAS SCANNED NOT BLOWN-UP FROM A SMALLER PRINT."  

ON GLOSSY INDOOR VINYL. 

FOR A SHOW I JUST FINISHED IN NEW YORK.

ONLY 10 POSTERS HAVE BEEN MADE.

4 sold in the show for $400 each and 6 are left...of which 

I am selling to raise cash for the upcoming Chiller Show.

THIS IS A GREAT REPRODUCTION!!! 

"BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL"

 IN THAT IT'S

(PRINTED ON INDOOR VINYL)

ONE ORIGINAL SOLD

 FOR $500.00 IN THE FAMOUS CHILLER THEATRE CONVENTION. 

Again we are able to offer you this great gem for a limited time. After they sell out...

we have no more!!!!

............GET IT WHILE YOU CAN!...........

.....SPECIAL REQUEST ONLY.....

THE ORIGINAL BOX CAN ALSO BE REPRODUCED FOR A REASONABLE FEE.

EMAIL ME ON THIS MATTER. 

Another great product by the houseoftheunusual.com

and thelandofsecrets.com

Haint Blue--Supernatural protection in one coat latex or oil enamel!

Sometimes even Mr. Macabre can be taught a thing or two.  While taking my morning walk with Sausage Von Trapp, I casually asked about the color of her porch ceiling, which was a kind of sky/powder blue and that I had noticed a couple of homes with the porch painted the same way.  I was informed it was "Haint Blue".  Coming from the South, I of course, knew what a haint was; a restless spirit, usually a bit on the nasty side.  And I knew the color blue.

Photos courtesy of Curb Appeal For Dummies

So what makes this color so special?   Legend has it that spirits cannot travel over bodies of water and this color mimicked the color of water thereby tricking haints from crossing into the house.  Not only porches were painted for protection, but shutters, doors, window trims as well as whole houses too for the particularly supernaturally paranoid.  Haint Blue comes in many different hues and shades from greenish to deeper blues depending on the area of the country. 

Some believe that it can deter insects and birds by mimicking open sky.  I wouldn't bet too much on that theory personally, my money's on a can of OFF and a citronella candle. 

So there you are, if you're looking for a color to paint your porch roof and are in a particularly spooky mood, give Haint Blue a consideration, if nothing else for the conversation it could strike up.

Sadly enough, I don't like the color blue very much.  Why couldn't it have been Haint Purple or Haint Orange or Haint Ochre?