Makeup Tutorial--Traumatized Finger (Warning, real gross)

So I pulled out the old makeup box yesterday and started twiddling around with it.  I'm not really that much into gore but I sometimes try to push my comfort zone limits a bit.  With a little bit of blue, a little bit of fake blood, a little bit of sealer, a little bit of black paint, I think that I did a pretty good job of making my middle finger look like it had been traumatized:

 Pretty good if I do say so myself!   Let's see any of you hotshot makeup artists out there who think you're bad enough to top this!  You boys have been owned by Macdaddy Macabre!

If only it were true.  Oh how I wish it were true.

This is what happens when you take a 10 ounce framing hammer and hit your finger with ALL your strength, effectively missing your desired target.
I said shoot!
I said doggonnit!
I said dang!
I said oopsie doodle!
I said monkey poo!

Actually I said nothing, just quivering with a little nausea in my stomach, my father was standing right next to me as I was biting my lip in two to keep from saying
%<*!!&*(#@$%*+{=%&@$&#$ H-E-EFFING-HOCKEYSTICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


We were working at a farm and it just so happened that they had a vet there brushing a horse's teeth (I'm not kidding).  My dad wanted to let the vet drill my nail right then to relieve the pressure.

I politely declined the offer.

Just thought I'd share :)